through the looking-glass.

ever watched Alice in Wonderland? the 1951 version mind you. or.. could it be a multitude of tacky colored animations of the book. But dreams have been filled with that cheshire cat grin or some sort of sardonic hybrid, bathed in suffocating blue.

I leave for Dundee in a week. I leave for Dundee in a week.

somehow I think the excitement's somehow blanketed by apathy. Probably a defense mechanism of some sort; when old scars and thorns freshly removed reappear. And one refrains from stirring the seemingly tranquil surface of the primordial soup; Krakens galore beckoning beneath.

Or I could just be bored.

Been reading Kostova; fiction, but it does reignite that old flame - history - the longmarch, kristallnacht, thepurges, lebensraum, garibaldi.

to ck: out of that ditch when you're ready. part arrogance part emptiness it was anyhoo. fight.